Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Writing in “High” Style



An excerpt from Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants” rewritten in the “high” style of Winston Churchill:


The woman arrives with two glasses of beer and two felt pads. She places the felt pads and the beer glasses on the table, then she looks at the man and the girl. The girl is gazing at the line of hills. They are white in the sun, and the country is brown and dry.

‘They look like white elephants,’ she says.

‘I’ve never seen one,’ the man drinks his beer.

‘No, you wouldn’t have.’

‘I might have,’ says the man. ‘Just because you say I wouldn’t have doesn’t prove anything.’

1 comment:

  1. This isn't sky-high in style, but it does have links between the parts of sentences, which Hemingway's sentences don't have. In other words: she does this, then she does this. A sequence of time. It also seems to have a more aggressive voice that tells us stuff. You only changed a few words, but the fancier diction creates a sense of the writer's persona.

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